2012- thoughts on this year and hopes for the next

Nobody is going to find a summary of my year all that exciting, unless you’re the type who loves receiving Christmas cards with those family newsletters attached. I’m mostly writing this for me, to remember everything I have to be thankful for and to figure out what I want for the future. But if you are reading this, I hope it brings some encouragement.

This time last year I was off to the cinema before ushering in 2012 with the firework display in town. It sounds ridiculously corny, but I remember being with friends, watching the glitter of those fireworks and feeling really good about the year ahead.

It actually got off to a rocky start. I didn’t know whether I even wanted to be at University. The first week back after Christmas, I was a mess of indecision. I put on a brave face, but inwardly I couldn’t have been more miserable.

Help came in the form of very patient parents and good friends, and by the end of that week, I had my answer. I was walking through campus and I suddenly knew I wanted to stay. God showed me where the problem lay, and He showed me what I really wanted. Since then, I focused on everything that was good about my uni life, and though I was still homesick and hating the house I was in, things got better.

Within a fortnight of deciding to stay I’d started volunteering at ‘Kidz Klub’, joined the belly dancing society, and generally made peace with my situation. One of my best friends told me that if I stayed, I’d ‘grab the bull by the horns and really make the most of things’. He was right.

Perhaps best of all about those two weeks was that five other girls and myself found a house for 2^nd year. From the moment we saw it, we knew that house was a gift from God. Everything about it was right, and somehow we managed to be the first viewing of the day and beat several other interested groups to signing the contract. I remember we prayed this house would be a joy and a blessing, to ourselves and to anyone who walked through the door, and after having lived in it for a term, that prayer has been answered in such an obvious way.

Through good and bad (and there were many bad days), God was right there, whether I recognised it or not. With every passing day, I learnt something about myself. Romans 5 v 3-5 says this: ‘But we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.’

First year passed; the hardest, strangest, and actually most blessed year of my life so far. Suddenly I was back home, bored after suddenly having nothing to do, and realising I was in desperate need of a job. That prayer was answered too, and I got more than I bargained for with a full time contract in a madly busy office. The job was pretty rubbish really; complaints departments are never fun, and when money is the cause for complaint, you can be sure people are going to be very upset, often obnoxious, and sometimes rude. For an inexperienced temp I had more responsibility than I’d imagined, but also, for an inexperienced temp I was well paid. That job gave me the money I needed to finance a whole term of rent, so with my student loan I was independent of my parents for the first time in my life. (Not sure how next term is going to be financed, but God will sort that one out too).

The most summer holiday I got this year was three days in Northern Ireland to visit a friend, but hopefully next year will be different! We can’t have it all can we?

Eventually September came, I left my job, and Uni started again. The first term of second year was amazing, with countless laughs with my lovely new housemates, growing closer with friends, enjoying my course, and most importantly deepening my relationship with God. I am so so thankful for every friend, every good thing I experienced in the past few months. So happy to be a part of the church I go to. Yes there were low points and difficulties, life is like that, but overall I had a great term.

And suddenly the year is over and I’m sitting contemplating it all. Since coming home for Christmas out family has been hit with a few obstacles, but I know God has good things to come! Since being home I’ve really been seeking him and rejoicing in what he’s done this year, and it’s made me even more excited about next year! And of course, I’m going to Berlin in September! A year ago, I would never have been brave enough to make such a decision.

So what do I want for 2013?

Above all things I want to know Jesus more. I want to go where he leads me, love others the way he loves me, be a blessing to others the way he has blessed me. As of yet I have no other resolutions, because everything good comes from focusing on him. All my hopes and plans are in his hands. Proverbs 16: 3 says ‘Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.’ Not got much to worry about then really.

Well that was my year. I’d love to hear about your’s (and I mean that honestly, I’m one of those people who love reading about other people’s experiences). 

Joy to the World?

Apologies for my silence of late. I’ve been busy with essays and carol concerts and present shopping and social events, etc etc. This time of year is a bit mad for everyone, isn’t it?

Well, I’m back now after having spent the past few days finishing off festive preparations and catching up on much-needed sleep. I’m profoundly grateful to be home for a few weeks as I really need the rest, but if you’re a student you probably know what I mean when I say that coming home is a bit weird. For one reason or another, it’s never quite what you think it will be; expectations don’t quite align with reality, but I’m readjusting.

I’m trusting God will provide a solution to my every problem and concern. Taking one day at a time and 

remembering to be thankful for every good thing (and there are so many) really makes all the difference.

What I’m about to say was coincidentally (or not!) pretty much summed up at church this morning by our speaker, but after jokingly telling him he stole my thunder, he told me that there’s no copywright on what I wanted to share.

This time of year is my almost favourite- I love Spring best of all, but the Christmas and New Year period comes pretty close. There’s so much to enjoy- from family, friends and food to decorating the tree, watching silly films and singing carols. And yes, I do quite like presents too.

None of these things would have any real purpose if we took the true message of Christmas away. I think if we truly grasped how ridiculously amazing the Christmas story is, we would be celebrating with ten times more enthusiasm. John 3: 16 tells it in short. God sent his own son Jesus Christ, to be born amongst men in a messed up, broken world. Born in the most humble of shelters, to an ordinary teenage girl, in a small town in Israel. Jesus, wholly Man, related to us, sharing in our sufferings, and yet was wholly God, healing the sick, showing compassion to the unloved. Through Jesus, the world got to hear the Good News- a Saviour born to free us from the punishment of separation from our Father. On a wooden cross, Jesus paid that price, and rising from the tomb he conquered sin and death.

This is God’s love for his creation; through Jesus, the relationship between God and Man, broken by sin, was mended. This is the greatest gift that ever was and ever will be given. John 10: 10 says ‘I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly’. This ‘life’ includes Freedom to know this God, from whom everything good comes, and the promise of returning to the one who created us, who knows and loves us completely, for an eternity in a realm of perfection.

Maybe you’ve heard all this before and know it in the depths of your soul. Maybe you’ve heard it before but never really believed it was true. Maybe you think it sounds completely insane.

You might be asking how this could be such great news when there’s so much suffering on Earth. The recent Connecticut shootings. War. Poverty. Loneliness. Sickness. For many, many people, Christmas is not a time of joy.

So how can we really enjoy Christmas when there is all this pain in the world? A large part of it is being grateful for what we have; fully appreciate the food on your table, the presents under your tree, and the people around you. God loves to give us good things, but the richest blessings come when there is a thankful, rejoicing heart.

Several weeks ago, the pastor at my church spoke about the Kingdom of God, and how it is Here and also Not Yet. Jesus came to bring salvation, but he is coming again to make all things new. To make right a hurting world. Suffering is a part of this life, and we cannot make it all go away.

But. 

The Kingdom being ‘here’ means that though Jesus is not walking the Earth as Man any longer, the Holy Spirit dwells among us, working to free us from pain, from oppression, from guilt. And with that freedom comes the opportunity to love as we have been loved, to help ease all that suffering just a little bit.

This time of year does highlight the extremes of joy and pain in this world. The difference we can make to the lives of others may not seem much in the face of so much sadness, but let that never be a discouragement. Let’s be generous where we can, be it with time, money, patience or love. Not ‘because it’s Christmas’; there is always need. But if Jesus is truly Joy to the World, let’s respond to that message accordingly.

The happiest of Christmases to you all.

C.

Appreciating the small things

Have you ever found yourself having the loveliest day, even though nothing particularly eventful has happened? Maybe you were already in a good mood, and lots of small things happened and made your day more than the mundane. The weather was beautiful. The parcel you ordered arrived a day before you expected it. You didn’t run into that person you were avoiding. A friend said something that made you feel really valued.

Life is made up of those little moments. When I’m away from home, I find it’s sometimes the little things I miss most. Sitting in my favourite chair in the conservatory on a sunny day, with a coffee and a good book. Being able to have a bath. My white bedroom walls that are so much prettier than my uni room’s red wall and orange curtains. The thing is, I never fully appreciated those little things until I had to leave them. Similarly, I didn’t realise just how fortunate I was to have some wonderful friends here until I went home for Christmas and missed them. Being at university is definitely teaching me to be grateful for the seemingly insignificant things, because there are times when those things are enough.

Someday I want to see the world, to have an awesome job, to have a family, etc. I’m not saying we shouldn’t want things or have hopes for the future. But there will be points where we can’t have those things that we want, which is why it’s so important to treasure what we do have. In the film American Beauty, Ricky says ‘There is so much beauty in the world’. And as important as it is to be aware of war and poverty, corruption and suffering, it is also vital to look for the good in life. For me, taking note of the good things can really put my life into perspective; I realise that things are not nearly so rubbish as I thought. I know that sounds awfully like Maria Von Trapp- “I simply remember my favourite things, and then I don’t feel so bad”- but I’d rather be cheesy than miserable, let’s be honest.

We can get so wrapped up in minor problems that we lose sight of the truth, which is that there is still plenty to be thankful for. Last week we had an awesome joint small group meeting, and during the worship time we sang one of my favourite songs. The lyrics are so true- “Every blessing you pour out I’ll turn back to praise…. You give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blesséd be your name”. This song demonstrates what it is to have a joyful, thankful heart, despite the circumstances being less than desirable. It’s not always easy to have this thanksgiving attitude, but I feel so much more joyful when I take the time to appreciate the good stuff and thank God for it, and thank God anyway even when things aren’t quite going as I’d planned.

I’ve been wanting to write a post about this for some time now, and on Friday I stumbled across this lovely website- www.justlittlethings.net . Every day they update with a new example of a small thing that brings us joy, from a hug from a family member to the smell of fresh laundry. It really made me smile, and I hope you all find some pleasure in it too, even the most jaded and cynical among you!

That’s all I have to say for this week; I have two exams in the next couple of days so I’ve been revising like crazy and haven’t had much time to write for the sheer fun of it! Hopefully next week my brain will be a little clearer.

Have a great week everyone! To those who have exams, may they be manageable, and may you never forget that they are not the most important thing in your life.

Love,

C. 

It was never between you and them- thoughts on focusing on yourself

Hi everyone, here’s hoping you had a good weekend and you’re feeling refreshed and ready to take on the week. If you aren’t, you have my full sympathy; I’m up to my neck in revision at the moment and I’m less than full of energy, which is why this post is a little shorter than previous ones.