One thing my parents taught me was that attitude is
everything. When I was younger I didn’t quite grasp this, but as I got older it
started to make sense. Everything we say and do starts with a thought, so it
follows that if our thoughts are negative, it will show in how we treat other
people, how we react to situations and what kind of choices we make. Matthew
15: 18 says this: ‘…the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart.’
We may not be feeling negative towards others, but even a negative view of
ourselves can affect our words and actions. Attitude is relevant to every
single aspect of our lives.
I struggle with my attitude sometimes, but this year has
been good for me. I met people who have helped me to turn my attitude around
and get out of the negative mind-set that can be so crippling. So, with their
comments in mind, here are some of my thoughts on how to stay positive.
Disclaimer: this post is not aimed at anyone who suffers
from depression. Depression is a very real thing that requires professional
attention. This is simply food for thought.
First of all, positivity is a conscious decision. Don’t
assume the worst. Have an open mind. Let yourself be surprised and sometimes
gladly mistaken. If you’ve made up your mind that it’s going to be rubbish, it
probably will be.
Secondly, don’t put off happiness for the future. Work on it
today. Appreciate what you have now, because if you don’t appreciate the small
things, you won’t be content when you have more, either.
Surround yourself with people who support you and build you
up, and avoid spending too much time with people who will tear you down and
reinforce any negativity in your life. It’s amazing how quickly people’s
attitudes rub off on each other. Don’t let someone else ruin your day. Don’t be
the one to ruin someone else’s.
Annoying stuff happens, that’s life. We can’t choose when or
where or how those things happen. But we can choose how we deal with it. Refuse
to let it bring you down - instead, think of it as something that will make you
stronger. The other week I clicked a few wrong buttons and managed to delete
the entire 2000 word essay I’d just finished. I tried everything to get it
back. I stared at the screen for a while in utter disbelief. I begged for some
miracle that it would magically reappear. None of those things helped. I
realised then I could do one of two things- I could cry, throw a tantrum, leave
rewriting it till the last minute (by which time I would have forgotten
everything I’d written the first time around). Or I could accept the
consequences of my carelessness and get down to rewriting the essay as quickly
as possible, so I could focus on my other work. I chose the positive option,
but I could so easily have let an unfortunate mistake overwhelm me and mess up
my work.
It’s pretty much impossible to be positive all the time.
Positivity is also not the same as being fake. If you’re not feeling amazing,
don’t pretend you are. You’re probably not fooling anyone (or at least the ones
who care), and it takes too much effort. Be honest about it and accept that
it’s ok to be sad sometimes. (Note to self- take own advice here). But instead of dwelling for too long on how you’re
feeling; make a conscious effort to get out of that rut as soon as you can.
- For me, the most important thing is affirmation from the word of God. God loves us infinitely. If you’re feeling low, discouraged or down on yourself, find verses that describe the way God views you. Think you’re not good enough? Look at the people God used in the bible. All of those people were flawed, messed up, difficult, but they impacted nations. Think you’re inadequate? Psalm 139 says that you are ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’. Don’t know what to do with your life? Jeremiah 29:11 says ‘For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future.’ If nothing else makes you smile today, that should.
- Ask yourself why you’re feeling the way you are. If you’re worried about something, ask yourself, what’s the worst thing that could happen? Is there a high chance of that happening? Mentally prepare yourself for the possibility, and plan a way to deal with it if it does. It probably won’t happen anyway. The amount of times I have worried about something that didn't even happen borders on the ridiculous.
- Keep busy. The more time you have to dwell on negative thoughts, the worse those thoughts are likely to get, and the worse you’re going to feel. Do some cleaning, organising, anything to divert your focus from yourself onto something productive. Spending time with friends is also helpful- usually they will find some way of cheering you up, or at least distract you from how you’re feeling.
- Help someone else. Sometimes listening to someone else’s problems reminds you that you’re not alone, and if you can give someone else advice, you can probably give yourself advice too.
- Uplifting music is always good.
- Write a list. This could be a list of things to be thankful for. It could be a list of things that need doing; prioritising tasks can help if you’re feeling overwhelmed. It could be a list of things you can do to cheer yourself up. Keep that list where you can see it. Ideally, make it colourful. Bringing me to the next tip-
- Colour. This may sound a bit ridiculous but colour really can affect your mood. Think about how much better you feel when the weather is good. The sunshine makes the world brighter and yes, more colourful. Incorporate colour into your life. Those who know me will know that I wear bright colours a lot. I love them. They make getting dressed more fun. If bright colours don’t suit you, use them some other way. Use colourful stationery. Hang bright posters in your room.
- Exercise. Get that dose of endorphins. Even a walk will help if you’re lazy/not particularly athletically inclined, like me.
- I hope you guys enjoyed this post and found it somewhat helpful- even if you don’t struggle with maintaining a positive outlook like I do! What do you find helps to keep you upbeat? Are there any of these tips that work for you, and do you have any more to add? I’d love to hear your thoughts! PS, here's a photo of yellow flowers, because really what's cheerier than yellow flowers?Thanks for reading,C.
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