Love, love, is a verb; love is a doing word.

Being an English student can be a wonderful thing. Fellow course-mates left, right and centre seem to be overflowing with creativity; ideas coming fast and exploding into poetry, short stories, even novels. It’s great to see that. Unfortunately I often feel a little left behind.

Having a blog is my way of forcing myself to be creative when I feel like I can’t. As a child I had such a huge imagination, but university is busy and much of the time I’m exhausted and I have no idea how to translate my life with all its mundanities and absurdities and blessings and trials into something beautiful that people would want to read about.

So I write my blog, when I feel just a little bit more inspired and little less blah, and though it may not be poetry it’s still my life organised in a way I can make sense of, regardless of whether others gain from my posts or not.

There is always the challenge of deciding what to write about. I was in a boring and slightly irrelevant lecture yesterday, so I used my lack of concentration to my advantage and asked myself, ‘what do I love? What am I passionate about? What’s been important to me recently?’ Because if I could figure that out, I’d have something to write about, right?

Well as I thought about it I realised that this term so far has been largely about love. Love given, and love received.

Before you start making faces at the screen, let me clarify. I don’t mean the romantic kind, with the big sweeping orchestra and the flowers and the fuzzy feelings.

I mean the type of love that is a reflection of the infinite, overwhelming love that Jesus has for those he has created.

This kind of love is ultimately a decision, not an emotion. Those lines from Massive Attack’s ‘Teardrop’ popped into my head suddenly as I sat in my lecture yesterday: ‘love, love, is a verb; love is a doing word’.

On Sunday I stood in church and once again was so moved by the free, abundant love that is shared among God’s people. It was the end of the service and people were praying for one another. As the worship team continued to play, people stood with a hand on a friend’s shoulder, praying blessings over each other’s lives. 

There were people with their arms around one another, groups laughing together, others supporting those in tears. I am so very grateful and blessed to be part of that.

But loving is not always as easy as it is on Sunday morning when we’ve all been worshipping Jesus and are feeling fresh and pumped up. What about those days when you are swamped in work, or haven’t had enough sleep, or are just generally feeling rubbish? What is love then? Certainly, it’s not a girly, flowery, pink loveheart feeling.

See, that’s where love becomes a conscious effort. Love is gritty. Love is stubborn. It breaks through how you’re feeling. It gives to people who might not be giving it back. It is patient and persistent with friends who let you down and drive you up the wall. It makes time for those who need it.

Let’s be real here- that kind of love is hard.

When you choose to love someone, whether they are a friend or a stranger, you take a risk. It takes a huge amount of vulnerability to really be there for someone, to listen, to support them and expect nothing in return.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8- this passage right here sums up what real love actually is and how we should be living it out.

You might be thinking that all this self-sacrificing nonsense is a bit of drivel. Maybe you’re thinking that the God I serve doesn’t want me to be happy, if He is commanding me to love in this way. That includes loving people who might not deserve it.

But see, Jesus loved us first. (Read this post - http://beccathinks.tumblr.com/page/7  by my awesome friend Becca for more of that). None of us deserve the depth of love that Jesus has for us. Jesus didn’t have to die for me. I sometimes look at myself, the real true self that I can keep hidden from everyone else, and wonder what God sees in me, that He should love me so completely.

Having known that love is what enables me to pursue this radical life of loving others. I fail quite spectacularly time and time again; but instead of letting guilt make me feel inadequate, I lean on God. Because God always, always provides.

This is the thing. God knows that I need to receive love just as much as the people He commands me to love. I might not get the same love back from the people I give it to. But the right people are there at the right time, often unexpected but so valued. They probably have no idea how much I needed that smile, that hug, that word of encouragement.

Sunday mornings, evenings laughing with my housemates, a chat with my mum on the phone, small group, coffee dates with friends. Whenever I feel discouraged, I think of these things.

The best thing about choosing to live this way is that sometimes, loving others isn’t hard at all, because those people are loving you right back.