A True Lady- Part II

Following on from my post on Proverbs 31, I want to share my thoughts on something that for the most part seems to have gone from society, and that’s the idea of being a ‘lady’. We women often complain about how there aren’t enough gentleman in the world, but I think if we want to retain the right to complain, we need to make sure we’re looking at ourselves first.

This post links in nicely with the last one I think, though no doubt some will find it controversial. 

Oh well. If you disagree, let’s discuss it.

Before I went to University, a few of my home church friends did the kindest thing for me. They made me a photo album and got everyone in our youth group to write well-wishing notes in it, and they decorated it beautifully and surprised me on my birthday. That was a bit of an emotional time for me but the gift was so touching and sweet. In her note the lovely Emily wrote something to the effect of  “I love how you’re so lady-like.” That really stuck with me. What exactly did she mean by that? Was she talking about how I dress, how I behave, my mannerisms? A mix of all those things? 

At first I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Is being lady-like a good thing? Obviously Emily meant it in a nice way, but do other people find it weird in modern society?

Eventually I let go of those insecurities and embraced the lady-likeness, however Emily meant it in her note. After a while I realised that surely such a statement can only be complimentary whichever way you look at it.

It got me thinking. What is a true lady? Why does it matter?

Isn’t that whole idea just anti-feminist rubbish?

You are free to disagree, but I most emphatically say no!

A good summary of what I think a true lady is can be found in the first half of my post. Not for a moment am I suggesting that I measure up to such a tall order as Proverbs 31- I think that passage is meant to describe an ideal; guidelines, not instructions. But what I like about that passage is that it encompasses everyone. It has nothing to do with how you style your hair or whether or not you can speak French or how perfect your posture is. A true lady is a woman of good character. The rest is secondary.

Personally I do think that the old-fashioned idea of a ‘lady’ was not altogether wrong though. I wouldn’t suggest that we should all drop our careers/studies/whatever and become a housewife, please don’t misunderstand me. Though of course, there is nothing wrong with that either if that is what you want. What I’m referring to is that slowly disappearing notion of good manners. Respect,  for yourself and for others. Consideration. Dignity. Grace. Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t these qualities that should be valued?

Sadly they’re not being promoted much anymore. I love a strong fictional female character, but often-times the strong ones also have to be unnecessarily cruel, manipulative and sometimes downright vulgar to attract any kind of admiration. At least that’s what I’m seeing on TV. The ones who are sweet and kind are often portrayed as naïve, weak and a bit clueless. What kind of message is that when in order to get ahead in life one needs to trample on someone else?

Though it seems as though admirable fictional role models are in short supply, I do take inspiration from the real women in my life. My own mother is one of the people I admire most in the world, for her unfailing dedication to doing what’s right, striving for excellence within her job and keeping her integrity no matter what.

At my church here I feel very honoured to know many truly amazing women, and for me they are examples of true ladies. Some of the older ladies are real role models to me, because they are so unbelievably sweet; hearts overflowing with kindness, patience that endures hardship with everlasting hope, and measured wisdom that only the older among us can bring.

I have so much respect for women like this; they make me feel so humbled, and they are a joy to be around!

I understand that some people might not like what I’m going to say, but these are my thoughts so take them or leave them as you please.

To my mind, a true lady doesn’t carelessly throw bad language into conversation.

She knows the difference between a little merry and drunk out of her mind.

She treats her body with respect, she doesn’t just give it to anyone who wants it.

She doesn’t look down on others, but makes them feel appreciated.

She listens to others as well as talks to them.

These are just some examples of what I feel constitute a real lady. This is the kind of woman I would like to be, and while none of us will ever be perfect, we can learn a little more day by day.

So what do you think? Are there any women in your life who you admire or set a great example?

Thanks for reading, as always. I hope you are all well.

C.