Less like them, more like you: Thoughts on comparing

Hey everyone, hope your Mondays have been good and you all had a lovely weekend! First of all I want to thank you for sticking with me so far, hopefully these posts are not getting annoying just yet. I appreciate every one of you who takes the time to read my ramblings.

Anyway, today I feel like writing about the issue of comparing ourselves to others. We all do it whether we want to or not, and I definitely do it far too often. We can tend to measure ourselves based on how other people look, how much money they have, what they’re good at. And depending on the person we’re comparing ourselves with, we either feel better or worse about our own appearance, our finances and our abilities. This is made to seem pretty normal in today’s society. The media is constantly comparing celebrities to one another- which one is hotter, which one looks better in that dress, which one makes the biggest headlines. Magazines even compare us to celebrities. They tell us we can have Beyoncé’s body if we do this workout or buy that brand of diet pills. They tell us we can buy the same handbag that Kate Moss was carrying- which of course, automatically will make us just as cool as she is...
While this kind of thinking can inspire us to work harder to improve on ourselves, it can also be really damaging to the way we view ourselves.

Here’s the truth. There are over than 6 billion people on this earth. No matter how hard you try, there will always be someone you think is better looking than you. Smarter than you. Richer than you. The same is true the other way around as well- there will always be someone who has less of these things than you. So is there any point wishing you were anything other than what you are?

Viewing our own worth in comparison with someone else’s life is never healthy; it will only leave us dissatisfied. It makes us feel either superior or inferior to another person, and neither attitude is one that will bring us joy. God created man in His image, and we are all equals. If we are looking down on someone else, we are not only judging them, we are basically saying that God didn’t do such a great job on other people as he did on us- an insult to God, really. I’m writing this as much to myself as to everyone else, because believe me, this is something I need to sort out. It’s so easy to label people, to treat them with a little less kindness, just because they don’t measure up to our standards. But here’s what I think - every one of us is born with the same amount of potential, in hundreds of different ways. How someone uses that potential is not always their choice. Maybe they weren’t given the opportunities they needed to live their life to the full. Maybe they weren't shown the love they needed to believe that they were good enough. That doesn't diminish their worth as a human being, and it doesn't give us the right to think we’re better than them.

In the same way, we shouldn’t look down on ourselves. The biggest example I see is in girls comparing their appearance to someone else’s. I do this too. It’s difficult not to. But it’s important to realise that those girls you’re comparing yourself with are probably doing the exact same thing. Everyone has flaws and imperfections, at least in society’s standards. Some of those imperfections can be made to look better with clothes and makeup. Some can’t. Some things can be ‘fixed’ with plastic surgery, but that’s a whole other issue. Learning to accept yourself takes time, but it’s so much better for your happiness than striving to be more like someone else. That applies to everything, not just to the way we look.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t use others as inspiration. It’s good to see other’s strengths and be inspired to work on our own- note I said be inspired by, not copy! It’s good to want to improve ourselves one way or the other, and it's good to let others teach us and motivate us. But let that be for the right reasons- not jealousy, not to seem better than others, not because beauty or wealth or success will fulfil us and give us complete contentment. They won't. 

The other thing I want to say is this: different doesn’t mean less valid or less important. Even in biblical times Paul saw that people were comparing themselves to one another within the church. In his letters to the Corinthians he writes this- ‘If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!”  On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honourable we treat with special honour’. (1 Corinthians 12 v 17-23). This is a wonderful example of the importance of individuality with unity. We are all given gifts and strengths. Some might be more obvious than others. That doesn’t mean they are worth more. If a human body has a healthy liver and eyes with perfect vision, but the heart is weak and the joints are riddled with arthritis, you can hardly call it a fully capable body. In the same way, if the body of the church does not make full use of every part, it cannot be at its full potential.

Of course, this analogy applies to everything we do. You have something to offer to your class, your job, your relationships. Don’t give up on that because you don’t think you’re good enough. Don't take the backseat because you are not noticed as much as the guy who does most of the talking.

Wishing you were less like you is a waste of time. No matter how hard you wish, you will never be someone else. But you know what? No-one else will ever be you. You are ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’, and that is the most incredible truth. Embrace that, because you at your full potential is the best you will ever be.

Much love and thanks for reading,

C.